


a moment under darkness

by edeania



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Hates Himself, First Kiss, Light Angst, M/M, but what else is new
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2018-11-09 22:10:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11113893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edeania/pseuds/edeania
Summary: Their first kiss was under the darkness.





	a moment under darkness

**Author's Note:**

> so i wrote this a LONG time a go but found it deep in my files a few days a go, it was so bad omg i just had to fix it i just /had/ to. so yeah, after i did that i was like might as well not waste all the time I put into it lmao.
> 
> i hope it's an enjoyable read, tho it might be a bit heavy?? aha

 

 

 

The second their lips touch it's like everything falls into place, but at the same time there's a piece missing.  
  
"Dean," The deep voice sends shivers down his spine, and Dean, for the first time in a long time, throws caution to the wind. _Fuck it_ he thinks, and he knows he's shaking but also Cas rests his hands at his waist, and Dean wants to deepen the kiss but he doesn't.  
  
It's a soft touch of lips against lips, barely even really there, but Cas has his eyes closed and Dean is falling apart.  
  
"Dean," His angel pulls back, eyes searching Dean's for answers he doesn't have. "What does this mean?"  
  
Dean wants to kiss him again, wants to fall apart in his arms and let Cas cradle him to his chest.  
  
"Does it have to mean something?" He's painfully aware of how his voice cracks, but Cas isn't. "Not everything has to have meaning."  
  
The angel tilts his head and squints that way that is all _Cas_. His eyes look black in the poor lighting, and Dean has to remind himself it's not really _his_ eyes.  
  
"Dean..." Castiel steps back, hands down at his sides and eyes lowered to the ground for a beat before they look back to Dean's.  
  
They stay silent for a while, both just looking at each other. It's painful.  
  
He wants to reach out, pull the other by his coat and kiss him until they're both out of breath, but Cas pulled back, and he's looking at Dean with that evaluating look, and Sam is asleep back in in the motel.  
  
"Dean," His tone is too much, it's too loud and it's _too much_.  
  
"-Cas," His friend quiets, waiting for Dean to say something, anything, _what_ though Dean has no idea. "I think... I'm gonna go to bed."  
  
Cas' mouth parts slightly and Dean hates himself. The angel nods curtly, and in a blink he's gone.  
  
Dean has to breathe deeply once, twice... has to keep his legs from giving out.  
  
Eventually he makes his way back to the room, where Sam is sleeping calmly (though Dean notes the twitch of his brow, nightmares), unware of his broken brother and the tears threatening to fall from his tired eyes.  
  
He doesn't fall asleep for a long time. And when he finally does he dreams of cracked lips against his and dark blue eyes watching him with misplaced adoration.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! yes i know its quite short but i still would appreciate feedback <3


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